I have been thinking of “eraser phrases.” You know, the things we say when we need to undo something we have said or done. We all know them and even use them. As a service to my loyal readers (and all the rest of you, too) here is “Jerry Godsey’s Handy Dandy Eraser Phrase Guide:”

* “Bless his heart.” You can say anything you want about someone as long as you begin the sentence by saying it. Like this, “Bless his heart, he’s dumber than a stump.” See, without the eraser phrase that’s downright mean, but with the eraser phrase it is somehow nicer.

*”With all due respect.” This eraser phrase allows us to take a swipe at someone who outranks us. “With all due respect, sir, that’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.” A lot of people who have been fired used this phrase. It doesn’t always work, evidently…

* “I don’t mean that in a bad way.” I got this one from comedian Dom Irrera . He calls it the Italian eraser phrase. Here’s how Dom uses it. “That guy is a lowlife scummy little fat rat weasel… I don’t mean that in a bad way.” See, the eraser phrase makes it okay.

*”…but I’m not a bigot.” Often used by bigots to hide the fact that they are indeed bigots. “I can’t stomach dealing with Slobovians, but I’m not a bigot.” Yeah, tell that to the Slobovians…

* “God bless him.” This is one of the Christian eraser phrases. It’s used like this, “He’s just not a nice person, God bless him.” It doesn’t have the panache of some of the other ones, but it does feel religious, so people use it.

*”I’m only telling you this so you can pray about it…” Ahhh, the most often used Christian eraser phrase. Somehow we think that we can gossip all we want if we use this phrase. “Well, you know he’s committing adultery and his kids are a mess. But I’m only telling you this so you can pray for him.” Truth be told, all a Christian needs to hear is, “He’s having some problems…” and they will get to praying. Anything beyond that is gossip masquerading as a prayer request.

And finally, God has an eraser phrase of his own. I doubt he is real pleased with any of the other ones, but this eraser phrase is close to his heart.

“You are forgiven.” There it is. The ultimate eraser phrase. When God says this, all of your past sins are gone, not to be brought up ever again. The difference between God’s eraser phrase and all the others is that God’s phrase really works. It truly does erase everything that came before it. In fact, it’s already done. God has already forgiven us, all we have to do is accept it. How sad that so many people will walk around with their hearts torn up and burdened, hanging their heads and wondering if their life is really all it is supposed to be. They act happy on the outside, yet inside they know something is missing. They need to apply God’s eraser phrase.

So how do you apply the phrase? A simple prayer that says, “God, I accept your forgiveness. Please make my life yours…” BANG! The eraser phrase gets applied and you are on the road to a better life. It really is that easy. Drop me a line at jerry@remnantchurchonline.com if you have questions about what’s next. You’re going to love your new life!

Applying God’s eraser phrase to myself… Jerry

My friend Steve showed up at Remnant Sunday and said he was in such a rush to get to church that he had to glance down and make sure his underwear wasn’t on the outside of his pants. Thankfully, that was not the case and we could continue our conversation without the awkward embarrassment that only a grown man with underwear over jeans can bring. My kids used to wear their underwear over their sweats, but they also had a towel pinned around their neck and made superhero noises. I checked Steve’s neck, no towel, so he wasn’t channeling his inner Superman.

And why does Superman wear his undies outside of his tights? Maybe that was the style on Krypton. Somebody needed to clue him in that we don’t do things like that here. You ain’t in Krytpon no more… But I digress.

Steve’s potential underwear crisis had a point. He said that you could have everything together, but still in the wrong place. And he was right. Underwear under your clothes, good. Underwear outside your clothes; bad. Unless you are Madonna or Britney Spears, and that puts you in a different bad category all your own.

I started thinking about how many people do the right thing on the outside, but are wrong on the inside. They go to church, but it is merely to make an appearance. They know they should, so they do, but they don’t apply themselves to get anything out of it. And don’t use the excuse that the pastor or priest is boring. If you are bored every Sunday, first check your heart, then check the preacher. You may need an attitude check or your pastor may be boring, and not really able to meet your spiritual needs. If that is the case, find a place that will minister to you, and where you can minister. Church is a two way street. You go to church to have your spiritual needs met, but one of the ways you meet your spiritual needs is by ministering to other people. In this case, it is better to give AND receive. You have to admit, God has a great economy!

I see marriages that are hanging on by a thread. The people are still together, but they aren’t really married, they just live in the same house. That is underwear on the outside. Here’s what I know. God hates divorce. “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.”(Malachi 2:16 The Message” But I alos know that God wants me to be happy and fulfilled in my life. So if that is the case, then God must be able to make me happy in my marriage. Makes sense to me. And I know it works, because it happened for Lanette and I.

So what about you? What parts of your life are in the wrong order, or out of place? We make New Year’s Resolutions this time of year. Some people are dieting, or have quit smoking, or any number of other things they want to accomplish. How about letting God put your spiritual life together being the number one priority for you this year? You just might be surprised to find that your underwear actually fits better on the inside!

Checking my outfit… Jerry

A lady was having trouble with a skunk in her cellar, so she called the police station and asked for help. They recommended that she make a trail of bread crumbs from the steps of the basement to the back of her yard, and wait for the skunk to follow it out. The next day she called the police station again, and said, “I did what you told me to do…and now I have two skunks in my basement.”

Do you ever feel like your problems multiply? I hear people who are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. I talk to people are burdened down by their fears. They are having financial issues, their relationships are in trouble, they are afraid of what the future will bring. It all multiplies and adds up to a burden that weighs them down and keeps them from having the life they should have.

Jesus understood that we would have times like this, he said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Jesus promises us some pretty cool things here. First of all, he says that he will give us rest. The Greek word for rest is “anapausin,” literally a vacation or second wind. If we will just give Jesus our burdens he will give us a rest, a chance to overcome the issues and pains of our lives.

Secondly, he says his yoke is easy and his burden is light. Today, with all of our modern farming machinery, this may not make much sense. The crowd Jesus was talking to understood it right away. In the first century, oxen were strapped into a yoke and used to mill grain. The yoke would span between two oxen, tying them together. So whenever a young ox needed to be trained he would be attached to the yoke of an older ox. The older ox would pull the yoke and the younger ox would follow in his footsteps and learn the steps, even though he wasn’t actually pulling any of the load.

This illustrates the Christian life. Jesus is saying, “When you walk with me, I pull the load so that you don’t have to. Let me do the hard work.” Jesus will pull the load, all we have to do is follow him.

With those promises, why would we continue to struggle and do things on our own? I think it is because all of this comes at a price. The very beginning of the verse says, “Come to me…” It may sound simplistic, but God can’t work in your life if you won’t come to him. When we come to him, we bring everything we have and lay it at his feet—our sin, our guilt, our shame, our problems, our burdens, our fears, our doubts, our dreams, our goals, our ambitions—everything. And we give it all to him. This is how to enter the Christian life, and it is how to maintain the Christian life.

Being a Christian isn’t just about heaven and hell. It’s not even mostly about that. It is about making a life that is full and happy and fulfilling. It is a about a life that is able to overcome the problems and setbacks, not succumb to them. That is what Jesus promises, all we have to do is come to him and let him take our burdens and cares.

Trying to get the skunks out of my cellar… Jerry

He was seven feet tall with questionable taste in clothing and a stiff, ungainly gait. He was not known to be a great conversationalist. His skin was green and he had bolts in his neck. Some say he was a monster, others just said he was misunderstood. Either way, when he walked into the town square he was quite a sight!

I love the old Frankenstein movies with Boris Karloff as the monster. Classic stuff. In my opinion, the only good new Frankenstein movie is “Young Frankenstein” with Peter Boyle as the monster. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Boyle and Gene Wilder as Dr. Frankenstein singing (kind of) “Putting On The Ritz.”

Right now, you all have a mental picture of Frankenstein walking, don’t you? Arms outstretched, stiff legs moving slowly, one in front of the other. Tentatively moving forward, no joy, no happiness, just plodding forward, moving to the next goal.

The other night at Holy Grounds, Remnant’s coffee and Bible Study, Ronnie likened some Christians to Frankenstein. It was brilliant! I also told him I would steal his idea, and I have! I hear people say that they tried being a Christian, but it wasn’t for them. Or they just haven’t tried at all, and they assume that being a Christian is somehow boring or a hindrance to having fun or living.

These people are a lot like Frankenstein. They stumble through life stiffly, no joy, no happiness and no aim. They think that because they are miserable they must be godly.

Wrong!

Jesus said in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

What is the thief in your life? What is keeping you from having the best life you can, the life that God has wanted for you all along? Oh sure, we know the easy answers, drugs, life controlling habits, poverty or other issues. The thing is, those are all external issues, they can be fixed by a lifestyle change. You can go to rehab or AA, you can try to quit cold turkey. We see those things as the thieves in our lives. We say, “If I could only overcome (fill in the blank), THEN my life would be happy…”

The problem with that line of thinking is that it isn’t true. You see, all of our life controlling issues come from something missing in us.

It grieves me that so many of the people with life controlling issues never once think about Jesus as the answer to their problems. Christians must accept responsibility for that. We have looked down on people with needs or issues and made them feel less than welcome when they come to church or if we see them in the streets. We have done the stiff, “I am better than you” Frankenstein walk for so long that the last place hurting people think they can turn is to us.

We need to love people like Jesus did. The David Crowder band has a great song we sing at Remnant. It says, “He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, And I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me.” Life, and have it to the full… THAT is what we must model to those who see us each day. Not the Frankenstein walk, but the walk of the forgiven who freely acknowledge that we have a gift we can give to others.
Limbering up my walk… Jerry